Remember how earlier, I promised I’d post my Fiction Friday Challenge contribution? Here it is. A story from the prospective of a cranky guy having a bad morning.
Joy, my upstairs neighbors are smoking dope on the stairs again. I wish they’d just move out. It’s five am, and I can’t even enjoy a decent run. At least, not if I want my lungs to remain unscathed by foreign materials. It seems like it’s getting worse every day – the dope fiends. Pretty soon they’ll be covering our lungs in the mind-altering dust as we walk down the street.
I need to get ready for work, but I can’t because I haven’t gone for my run yet. I may have to forgo the run and just—nevermind, I’m going back to bed.
I wake up an hour and a half later, now running late, my routine off because of the potheads on my stairs. They’re blasting their television. I guess pot makes you deaf too. I pull on my pants, grab my socks, and wander to my kitchen. Great, now they’re sniffling outside my door. I wonder if they snort coke as well. No, they can’t possibly do coke. That’s a rich person’s drug – maybe? I don’t know. I’ve never really done drugs.
I open the drawer where I keep my coffee. The bag’s empty. I grunt. Now I have to stop at Has Beans on my way to the office. That’s about right. I can’t deal with my boss without caffeine. I guess I have done drugs. I seem to have a java addiction. I slip my feet into my shoes. I wrap the end of the lace around the loop. That’s so I don’t trip on my way to work. I grab my briefcase and my suit jacket. I’m finally out the door. Fifteen blocks to Has Beans and another five to work. I convince myself I can make it.
You’ve got to be kidding me. There’s a line in the coffee shop at 7:30 in the morning. Who the heck in Chico is up at this time? A bunch of giggling freshmen stand in front of me.I forgot the university was back in session. As I wait, “Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang” assaults my ears.
Clearly, someone has had too much espresso this morning – and I not enough.